Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
