honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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