Just mADE A PArabola og urine
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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