1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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