What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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