we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
