Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
