My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize