So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
