so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
