69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
