dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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