yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo