what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I could make wine with my vomit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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