If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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