her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
