she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
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my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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