I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
