I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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