for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
