My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
