how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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