I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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