U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
