I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
