I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Fuck appropriateness.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
