apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
