She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
