you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize