Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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