For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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