we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
