I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My penis needs a shock collar
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
