He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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