I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
