just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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