The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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