I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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