Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
