The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
