dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
