Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize