She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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