so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
