They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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