Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
