On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
