You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
