i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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