Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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