Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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