Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
