So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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