Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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