Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
