Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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