this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
