: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
