I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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