whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
