I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket